bitch, please

last week i developed irreconcilable differences with a customer.

scene: Register B at approximately 4:30 in the afternoon, water bottle in hand, with Danielle standing next to me chatting while waiting for a customer to come to the register. Customer comes to the register and puts her groceries on the conveyor belt. I put my water bottle down and begin with one hand to take her groceries, while the other elbow is used to cough into.

conversation:

MOMKA(yes, that's really her name): ARE YOU SICK?! (while she snatches up her groceries from my hand)
K: NO, I just drank water.
MOMKA: why are you coughing then?!
K: I'm NOT sick. I drank water, what do you want from me?
MOMKA: i'm going over here! I'm going to Brett's line.
K: fine, go.
MOMKA: she is such a bitch!

at this point i could feel my face getting red and my entire body getting really warm. i turned to Danielle.

K to Danielle: she's a fucking bitch.
MOMKA to Danielle: i'm coming over here, Brett's not sick.
DANIELLE: she's NOT sick, she just drank some water.
MOMKA: well, i'm staying over here anyway so I can visit Brett!

*a few days later Momka came back to the health food store and to my register. i refused to make eye contact with her or extend myself to her. she made minimal, but joyful and happy conversation with me, or at least tried. she also comment on my haircut (which is no different from when she called me a bitch, though my hair was styled slightly differently). apparently Momka didn't recognize me and asked me where I had been and said she was happy to see me.


WHAT??

all day sunday

i work a double on sunday: 9-7. 10 full hours of hell. there has got to be at least one good story to tell after that.

why:

I, along with a significant amount of other interesting people, work at sunflower natural foods in Woodstock, NY. Working there is a bitch, especially when every customer acts like mercury is in retrograde [read: this is not supposed to be funny]. This is my documentation of the personal strifes, compromising situations, and hilarious interlocutions I encounter on a very regular basis. This is also a documentation of the stories my co-workers pass on to me. Names will often be changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

sunflower

someone had to do it.